Charlie finally slept about four hours in a row last night. Our relief was short-lived …

He looked so innocent when I put him to bed …

CHARLIE: I feel good! Oh look, if I push the office door with my nose, I can go in there! Yay! Oh look! A nest of electrical cords to chew!

LURA (picking up Charlie): Come out of there, it’s dangerous. Here’s your rope, play with that.

CHARLIE: No way, I’m going to push the office door open and see what’s on the desk!

LURA (removing Charlie from the office): No, stop it. Stay in the kitchen with us.

CHARLIE: Oh look! The man has dangly strings on his sweat pants! I will chew them!

TIM: No, stop it Charlie. Here, play with your Lambchop squeaky.

CHARLIE: No, no! I want your pants!

TIM (suddenly naked from the waist down): ACK! Come get him!

LURA: Ha, ha, you look like that Coppertone baby! I mean, Charlie! Leave it! Other people’s britches are not for you! Here’s your rope, fetch!

CHARLIE (running to the wood box): I don’t want the rope! Oh look! What is this? *chew* *chew* Gack! *gag* gag*

LURA: Oh great, he has a chunk of kindling wedged in his jaw. Hold still, Charlie!

CHARLIE (wiggling mightily): Gack! *gag* *whine*

LURA (trying to get a fingertip between the chunk of wood and Charlie’s teeth): Hold still, Charlie! Ok, got it!

CHARLIE (bouncing): Yay! Let’s do it again, there are lots of choking hazards in the office!

LURA: We need something to tie this door shut!

CHARLIE: Pencils! Those look good to chew!

LURA (to Tim): Did you give him coffee this morning?

TIM: I swear I did not.

Because Charlie …

CHARLIE (bouncing): Mmmm, this glue stick looks tasty!

LURA (hooking doors closed with bungee cord): You need some boundaries, kid!

CHARLIE (poking office door unsuccessfully): Hey! What the …! *poke* *poke* Meanie! Oh wait! We have a trash can!